Interruptions-A Post About Nothing

I have been thinking all week about posting. Thinking about lots and posting nothing has been my mode of operation. I feel like I am in a holding pattern at JFK.  I want to get off of this plane soon because I am getting dizzy. Dizzy with anticipation.  What am I anticipating?  I don't know, but I have a post within me. Percolation. Simmering. Smoldering. Sauntering.(I know that sauntering doesn't go with the other words. It just came to mind. I saw Cathy Roth today and I remembered that sauntering is one of her favorite words.)  My favorite word of the day is ad nauseam. I think I have talked about a particular topic ad nauseam lately.  What might that be?

Being that I am back in the classroom, it would probably be about kids and instruction. Kids and instruction should go together. They do, but what about interruptions?  I hate interruptions.  I saw my friend Patty the other day. We both team taught back in the day. When she passed by my room, she saw me reading aloud to the students. She was passing by to go to the restroom. She told me, during planning, that she thought about walking in and saying hi, but remembered that my number one pet peeve is interruptions.  Yes, I know that I must get used to them and build up lots of tolerance and flexibility. I might need to get some interruption shots weekly. Lord knows I get them daily. I am severely allergic to them and an Epipen won't help me!  Call 911! I think I need to make an appointment with Dr. Phil or Oprah.

I know it has been a while since I have been teaching full time in the classroom, so I need to give my interrupting allergic reactions some time to subside. I need to kick it up another gear with some Benydril or Allegra D.  How will I accomplish this?  I must breathe deeply and count to ten.  Then I must remove myself from the source of the interrupting irritation.  At that point, I must walk back in to the offending area and do some self talk.  It will be okay.  Just think good thoughts! Think of teaching! Think of light bulbs! Think of Reading and Writing and quick writes and pointing and sketching and...and... After all of this self talk my blood pressure will return to the normal range and I will be in a nicer, quieter, (need I mention calming?) place. I would also think of hummus. Hummus has a soothing effect on me. Release the endorphins! It would be nice to have some hummus on hand, accompanied by some carrots and whole wheat tortillas. Chocolate pudding would do too.

What types of interruptions drive me up walls, through the ceilings and onto rooftops? There are many.  I have compiled them into a list (they are not listed in order of importance):

 The Usual Suspects

1. The attendance bell. The bell for taking attendance always rings when I am in a very teachable moment. (Aren't most moments teachable moments any how? I mean I am teaching all day. But there is this time when all is right in the world. Things are flowing very well. Then out of nowhere an interruptions stalks me.) I am in the great part of my lesson and I have everyone's undivided attention. Then I hear the bell! Time to stop and take attendance. Will I ever get back to that moment again? It will take time and extra effort.
2. Items in my box.The different items in my box always demand my immediate attention two seconds before my planning period has expired.
3. Immediate attention forms. A form that needs to be sent out to students before the end of the day. It finds me when I am in another teachable moment.
4. Dismissal tags. I don't want to write about them any more.
5. Dismissal tags. No need to explain.
6. Dismissal tags. Cause of much suffering.
7. Elections. Elections of all types. (No option of opting out either.)
8. Committees. Committees of all types that need my input. (I should form a committee to address all the committee in one full sweep.)
9. Dismissal tags. Not going to say a word.
10. Dismissal tags. Mum is the word.
11. Specials. Time to go to specials.
12. Specials. Time to go to specials.
13. Calls in the classroom. (The last year I taught full time in a classroom, we had no phones. We were buzzed by the intercom. I didn't like that either.) I often want to put that phone on vibrate and send it to voice mail, but I was told that wouldn't be a good idea. It needs my immediate attention. I so want to say, "No one's home!"
14. Fire drills. Loud noises that may cause serious hearing loss and migraines, not to mention a rise in blood pressure and heart rate. That's why I always say, "What? Huh?" I cannot hear anymore.(Try coming back to the optimal teaching zone after that one on a hot and humid Houston afternoon.)
15. Tornado drills. A somewhat quiet drill that requires hallway sitting and the covering of the head.
16. Lunch time. A long walk to food and a little wait in line.
17. Did I mention dismissal tags? Not going there.
18. Other? I am not sure when there will be more.
19. To be determined? Next week we will see new types?
20. To be continued. (This list is written in jest. Well, some of it.)

I think my brain has been rewired to include interruptions now. That is why I haven't written too much this week. I can't pay attention. I am on edge. The anticipation of more interruptions, makes me more nervous than drinking a 4 hour energy with a shot of espresso and powdery Matcha Green Tea. In all seriousness though, all week I was up late every night grading, grading, grading and grading.I was too tired to write.  I will be grading all weekend long. I hope to encounter not one interruption. I will put my phone on vibrate. I won't answer my door. I am going to be locked in so that I can enjoy a weekend filled with any possibility of interruptions. After grading, I will watch the Texans and other NFL games in peace. I won' t even have to search for any dismissal tags. I have to focus. Progress reports are due soon. Does that count as an interruption?

(Much of this post was written in a hyperbaric chamber or was that with a huge amount of hyperbole? I like to make light of things. It is my stress reliever. I love my kids, school and everyone who works there. The office staff and the administration are top notch. I hope everyone had a good laugh and that by reading this you were slightly interrupted from the seriousness of life.)