Kat Porter

 I love me some serious Jack in the Box large tea with 4 Truvia packets to sweeten it just so.  It reminds me of a very special next door neighbor lady that my mom loved to call Kat Porter.  Katherine Porter was a lady I knew for many, many years.  She was my mom's best friend.  Every morning they would sit out on their back porches and shoot the breeze.  These beautiful ladies would drink their cup of liquid mudd and smoke their cigarettes, as they discussed the comings and goings in town.  Katherine would say, "Well, you know Betty....." then the latest news would fly.  I would sit on the steps shucking some corn or snapping the half runner green beans into a huge pot.  Listening to all the stories of days gone by and current gossip brought me into Kat's world.  She was quite the story teller.  My brother Greg and sister Diane could listen for hours as she captivated us with her humor and laughter.  When a detail would get juicy we knew it because she would whisper it.  We hung on her every whispered word.  It wasn't as if we still couldn't hear her from her porch, in the house next door.  And oohhh the jokes!  She had us in stitches with all her crazy jokes.  I don't know how she remembered so many and she never ever messed up any of them  She possessed great comedic timing. None like her, none!  When she would speak about something or someone that was bothering her she would always end her soliloquy with a, "Betty, why do I have kids? Betty why do......?"  I use it to this day.  When my cats are driving me crazy I say in her tone of voice, "Elizabeth why do we have cats? Why?  Why do we have???  Dogs? ect.."

I have wondered off the beaten path  just a  little cause I know you are saying...what's that got to do with Jack in the Box Tea?  Well, if you have to know....that tea with 4 packets of Truvia tastes like Katherine Porter's tea.  As a kid, I would run to her house to get a glass of her sweet, sweet, beyond sweet, ice tea.  It was the best!  I trace my love of ice tea to Catherine Porter.  She knew how to make some great tea.  I loved it!

Biscuits anyone?  Biscuits?
I fondly remember that she could make the best biscuits in the world.  My mom still claims to this day that Katherine's biscuits are, by far, the best in Ohio.  She made them from scratch and they were huge.I mean Empire- State- Building- HUMONGOUS  Eating one of her biscuits tended to be way more than enough because it was gigantic.It weighed maybe 5 pounds.  I kid you not! I'd put some strawberry jelly or my mom's homemade apple butter on one of them. Mmmmm!  Mmmmm!  Mmmmm! The butter would melt and the apple butter would run all over the sides and cover my fingers(to be savored later).  The biscuit would crumble with brown apple butter and stain my shirt and fall onto my lap.  The side of my mouth would be covered! I felt embarrassed to have my face look so slobbish but it didn't really matter.  It was filling and simply delicious.
Katherine made some enormous biscuits but it didn't stop there.  No, she should have been from Texas cause most of her dishes that she served took up lots of space in my stomach and on the plates she used.
Katherine's pancakes would fill a whole entire plate. They were golden brown and semi thick. It was good and  I never finished one because the enormity of it all.
The last thing I remember about how she cooked was her hamburgers.  One day my mom had to do some errands when I was around 4 years old so I stayed with Katherine.  She made me some lunch. She asked me if I wanted to eat a hamburger.  I was hungry so I agreed.  I thought it would be a small hamburger like my mom always made.  When she served it up I could believe it.  That hamburger was a sight to see. It could be described as a 7th wonder of the world.  My goodness!  "Goodness, Gracious!"  I probably said a thousand times in a stupor. That thing was monstrous.  It was maybe 5 inches thick surrounded by Wonder white-stick-the-roof-your-mouth Bread.  I didn't think I'd be able to bite it. I thought I might get lock jaw or something. I needed a knife and fork to cut it up.That kinda burger was fit for some BIG person like Andre the Giant.  Wow!  She then covered it with mayonaise and mustard. She added  a few pickles and a slice of onion.  I wasn't hungry for a week or was it a month?  I can't quite recall.

I miss Katherine a lot! I know my mom misses her something awful since she died from cancer.  I still have dreams about visiting her.  In my dreams she keeps moving to a new house miles away.  I get terribly sad, in my dreams, because I want to just sit on the porch next to her chair, near the stair and hear those stories. I'd put away a big burger with the sweetest tea in Southern Ohio.  Catherine was quite a hoot!  Her words echo in my heart and my memories.  "You aggravating piece of plunder!" she used to say laughing. "Betty, well you know....(whisper)". How I long to listen to her again! But ya know, when I think about it, she's still alive in me. I murmur, " I can still hear you Cat Porter, you don't have to whisper anymore."