Express Yourself

Be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
--Dr. Seuss
Showing posts with label mcdonalds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mcdonalds. Show all posts

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Egg and I, McDonald's Time Out, and Procrastination-In A Writing State of Mind

All day I have been in a writing kind of mood. I never know when it will hit me, but this week, I have been dying to get to writing.  I have other things to do like grading a thousand notebooks and changing out kitty litter, but for some reason, I just don't want to do them now. Not now. I have lesson plans to work on and I need to go to the store to buy some food for next week. I need to wash some clothes and clean up the house a bit. I don't want to do any of these things. All I want to do is write.

I want to write about straws. I want to write about the lady who refused her food in the McDonald's drive through last night. I just have to tell this story. It has got to come out. I don't know what was wrong with the lady's order, but a young drive through attendant kept giving back the lady's McDonald bag to her. The lady, in turn, returned it back to the attendant. It was like patty cake. I was hoping that they weren't giving her my order. Then after a number of attempts to please this unhappy customer, the attendant sent the poor soul to time out. She had to drive over to the double lined yellow parking area of the parking lot. I saw the flustered teen just point to the time out area. Oh, how I hate the time out area! This area is for people who order something off of the menu. Maybe they want special treatment like ordering eggs with cheese instead of getting the humunga-chunga big breakfast that is carb addict's greatest pleasure. There's so much bread in there to cure world hunger. There is a biscuit and fifteen thousand hot cakes. They have time to make all of that, but if you order just eggs with cheese on top...well...you go to the time out jail and you will not collect the hot cakes or biscuits. They even have dunce cap cones to show everyone what happens when you order off the menu. I suspect that is what happened to this unsuspecting woman. It was dinner time though. I wonder what she dared to order for dinner. Maybe she went crazy and ordered a Big Mac without the bun!  Uh-oh! No, she didn't!  Who knows?   I said to myself in the car, You know, you gotta write about this! I do talk to myself in the car. No one can hear this constant conversation with me, myself, and I. It is fun!  Shhh! Don't tell anyone.

I also want to write about how I am mad at The Egg and I. Yes, I said it. I am mad at The Egg and I and I haven't been over to eat there for two weekends straight. I love the normal people who work at Egg and I. When they bring in someone who quotes corporate lines, I think of The Office and all the red tape and hardship that it causes.  I have been going to Egg and I for about 3 years. I keep that place in business. Every time I have gone there, I order fruit and ask them to not put cantaloupe in the fruit assortment cup. I am allergic to it. Every sweet person that has waited on me has never ever had a problem or even thought of charging me extra for doing this. NEVER! I went to Egg and I about two to three weeks ago. I asked this new waitress to give me a fruit cup without cantaloupe and pineapple. Pineapple has been added to the list of banned substances. I think I have an an ulcer and it hurts my stomach to eat it. She told me that she would have to give me an up charge. I said, What? An up charge? I have been coming here for three years now and I have never been given an up charge. She told me that she had to do it. I was in total shock. Why did they start doing this now? She told me that she had to do it. I told her to forget about it and just to bring me the eggs. Then a new manager lady, one who I had  never ever seen there, proceeds to come over and talk to me more about it. I told her the same spiel. She mentioned the word Corporate. Corporate has told us...I wonder if corporate can do without my business. I wonder if corporate would like for me to go to IHop. I wonder if they even care about loyal customers who bring lots of guests with them to Egg and I.  I can do without corporate and I can do without Egg and I...for now. I want to find a way to write corporate a letter and see if they want to lose me over a few pieces of cantaloupe and pine apple. Why did a few people have to ruin such a great place? The regulars are the reason why I would go there so much. I went there every weekend practically. I loved the ladies who greeted me with smile and said, How are you doing lady? I had lots of conversations with them all. That was a part of Egg and I's charm. It felt like home. Now, with the corporate being brought in, it feels like lots of lawyers in black suits in a sanitized hospital. Not comfortable at all. Sad, so sad!

One of the ladies who works at Egg and I told me she was reprimanded for calling customers honey or babe or sweetie or sunshine. She told me that some anally retentive guy got mad at her for calling him honey. He reported her to the manager. I wonder if it was the corporate manager. It doesn't feel like home anymore. These people are taking the nicety out of my favorite breakfast place. Why? Why?

I guess this is why I have been dying to write lately.  It is my way to vent and get all of this pent up material to fly. I have been sitting on this for quite some time. Phew! Now I feel better. Now onto kitty litter, laundry, notebooks, and shopping. Glad I got that out of the way!


Saturday, March 7, 2015

Takin' the Mac Out of McDonalds Part One

Taking the Mc out of McDonalds

For this past week I have been going to McDonald's for breakfast.  I usually order the scrambled eggs and apple slices to supplement my high protein and low carb diet.  It works pretty well.  Usually I wash it down with unsweetened iced tea.  That does it!  It's not that complicated.  It's not to much to ask.

This week, however, there seems to be a problem at McDonalds.  For the first two days of the week they didn't have iced tea!  Yea, I know.  It's some kinda torture.  I thought I didn't hear the obnoxious lady on the speaker tell me that they didn't have iced tea as she interrupted the flow of my order.  So I said, "I'd like a large unsweetened iced tea!"  I said it slowly because some people cannot tell the difference between unsweet and sweetened tea.  But that's another story for another day.  So any how, after she interrupted my litany of breakfast, she rocked my early morning routine.  In fact, she blew it out the water.  "No tea?" I asked.  "No tea," she said in a cruel way.  No explanation, just a stark reality thrusted on me so early.  "How can this be? That's utter blasphemy." I thought to myself.  "McDonald's and no tea is like hamburgers at a Mexican Restuarant.  It's just not right!"

So I ordered coffee with five creams instead. Not the consolation I was looking for.  It served its purpose.  I drove away in a fog-like dream.  "Is this really happening?" I thought as I pinched myself and then slapped myself in the face.  Reality is tough in the morning, especially without a cup of Orange Pekot Tea.

The next day, I went to McDonald's without a care in the world.  I was looking forward to some iced tea, scrambled eggs, and 2 bags of apple slices.  I was abruptly halted in mid-order again.  "No iced tea!" The annoying lady blurted out.  This time I was beyond offended. "What?  What's going on?  Why don't you have any tea?"  The voice changed to a more apologetic tone.  "The machine is broken," a kinder, gentler lady retorted. "Well somebody best be fixin' it!" I thought to myself.  "Oh, okay!" I said in a rather bland way.

Takin' the Mac Out of McDonalds

Taking the "Mac" Out of McDonalds-A Continuance

I revised and continued with the previous post. I left the original text below to track the movement of my mind.  This is not finished.  I will check on it tomorrow. Enjoy!


For this past week I've been going to McDonalds.  It's not surprise really.  I usually order the scrambled eggs and apple slices to supplement my high protein and low carb diet.  It's cheaper than the Starbuck's Protein Bistro Box and it helps because I gave Starbucks up for Lent. The McDonalds connection works pretty well.  It's not that complicated. Not that difficult. I can't complain normally but this week.....let's just say...is another story.

I haven't experienced this ever, at any McDonald's, in my entire life.  It's a very baffling time for me.  It's an uncomfortable place to be. For the first two days of this work week, I encountered something tantamount to Siberia.  Yes, Siberia.  I went to Siberia and back.  I was plucked out of my car and placed momentarily into the gulags of Siberia.  How? Why?  I am still trying to figure this out. What happened to me should never be repeated because it caused me to be mentally engulfed in my own Siberia.  It all boils down to ICED TEA.  ICED TEA in the morning is one beautiful thing that alights my way.  I especially like the ICED TEA at McDonald's because I can get a large tea for just a buck.  It's brewed just right and tastes delicious. Iced tea makes my world go round. It rocks my world. I can't imagine my life without iced tea.  That's totally incomprehensible.  I shutter to even think about it.  If that would ever happen, my life would be a very frigid place. Numbness, dare I say paralysis, would overtake me.  Thus my Siberia.

I pulled up to McDonald's on a rather disgustingly humid March day. Yea I know.  March disgustingly humid?  You have to live in Houston to understand.  It was around 7 am.  The traffic was roaring on I-10, just yards from where I was about to order.  "Welcome to McDonalds!  May I help you?" asked the lady with the most Fran Drescher-ish-annoying-nasal- tone ever.  I put up with that voice everyday, because I know that in minutes, I'll be adding my three packs of Truvia sweetener, to my beloved tea. Then I would be on my merry way traversing I-10, on my morning commute. So  I began to order, " I'll have an order of scrambled eggs, a sausage patty, ICED TEAunsweetened and two bags of apple slices."  Usually she will asked me if I said sweetened or unsweetened. I was preparing to enunciate and raise my voice.  Then I heard it.  I wasn't quite sure what I heard because I was expecting something completely different. "Ma'am we don't have any tea." I sat there for a second not knowing what to say. An uncomfortable lull passed over me.  I was for the first time in my life SPEECHLESS.  My mind was trying to make sense of this shocking and horrid news.  "No tea, no tea, no tea..." I kept whispering.  Then I responded in a completely disappointed manner, "Okay....um...then I'll have a small coffee with five cremes, " I took everything I had to get that out.  Just as I finished with that nonsense of a sentence, I heard several cars honking behind me.  My heart skipped a beat and I just wanted to scream out them.  I was in the middle of my own TEA RAGE!  You don't really want to mess with me when I haven't had an ounce of caffeine. This time, luckily, I controlled myself and then drove up to the window.  This was the first time, in a long time, that I didn't have my large ICED TEA. It didn't seem right. Something huge was missing.  My life was in disequilibrium.  I had spun into some type of tortuous vertigo, total tea-less vertigo.

It took me sometime. I was in a bit of a funk for most of the morning.  I had to summon every ounce of courage.  Finally, after much trepidation and hours of counseling, I built a suspension bridge and got over it. Finally, I was free at last.   For lunch, I went to another establishment and bought an extra large tea, to make up from my morning drought. Parched as I was, doubling up seemed to hydrate my soul.  Everything went smoothly the rest of the day. I actually forgot about it, if you can believe it.

The next morning I dropped my daughter off at her school and was on my way to McDonalds.  Some very positive and groovin' tunes brightened my mood. I drove into McDonald's thinking about drinking some wonderful tea.  When I was waiting in the drive thru, I looked through my disorganized purse to get my 3 packs of Truvia.  I was getting ready for my normal routine.Oh yeah!  Life was grand, indeed.  I inched up to the speaker to hear Fran's obnoxious voice, "Welcome to McDonald's.  What would you like to order?" I started with my litany of breakfast items. " I'll have some scrambled eggs..." I closed my eyes to visualize all that I had on my list.  I seemed to help me remember everything.  I finished with, "I'll have a large UNSWEETENED ICED TEA!"  Before I could pronounce TEA, she shut me down! "We don't have TEA!" This was a definite shot in the gut.  It took the wind out of me!  I couldn't breath. "What?" I asked in complete disbelief. "Two days in a row.  Really?" I thought. "Why don't you have any tea?" I asked in complete desperation. "The machine is broken," said a kinder, gentler woman with a soothing East Texan twang.  I felt comforted by her words and knew that this would not persist for long. It just couldn't.  I mean, how long can you not deal with a broken machine? So I drove up to get my breakfast and drab coffee with five cremes.  The hot coffee was a seriously sorry excuse for an iced tea replacement. I wasn't sure how I would get through the morning, much less the day. I did however, make it through, with the help of my friends and colleagues.  Their compassion and support, during this troubling times, did not go unnoticed.  I am forever grateful for them.

The next day I drove up without any kind of excitement whatsoever. "What are the chances that they fixed the machine?" I thought. Feeling rather pessimistic, my glass was half empty, but with water, instead of tea.  My morning was devoid of purpose.  When I ordered, I was hesitant to mention iced tea in my order.  So I said, "I'll have scrambled eggs...." I sounded sort of like Eyore in a completely dismal fashion. Before I ordered the iced tea, I asked, "Do you have any iced tea today?"  I was expecting the worst but hoping for the best. Fran Drescher must have been on vacation that day, because a super peppy lady said, "Yes we do!" A smile emerged. Hope had been resuscitated.  My eyes danced. A billion bricks rolled off my troubled shoulders. My Siberian exile had come to an end. Ordering that day was nothing short of a euphoric."ICED TEA for you and ICED TEA for me!" I sang over and over.

The rest of the week seemed to go pretty well.  No problem at all or so I thought.  Nah! It didn't work that way. Today happened.  Everything seemed to be going without a hitch.  I ordered all of my breakfast items without interruption.  I didn't have to restate that I wanted unsweetened iced tea either.  I didn't even have to move over to the yellow line and wait to get my food.  Nope, everything appeared to be NORMAL.  I drove off to work without incident. I parked my car and calmly started to eat my breakfast.  My iced tea was by my side.All seemed well in my world.  I checked my email and text messages and then opened my McDonald's bag.  The sausage was in a container.  I started eating it and reached for my scrambled eggs. They were much heavier than normal.  I didn't think much of it, until I opened the little box.  Oh, no! I experienced a carb-like nightmare.  I was either in the Twilight Zone or being Punked.   I peered down at two innocent looking pancakes that were stuffed in Pandora's box.  "NOOOO!!" I shouted.  "This can't be happening!"   There's no way in on God's green earth that I was going to break my low carb diet of 30 days for some stupid pancakes! I took some time to do some deep breathing exercises in order to gather myself.    Finally, I calmly opened up my apple slices and ate them.  I pondered the predicament that I was in." How can this be?  Three times in four days. Really?" I thought. This was really too much for any human being to bare. Being that I come from a long line of strong women, I found the strength to move on.  My mother's words echoed in my mind, "This too shall pass. This too shall pass."

This situation made me think long and hard about the state of the U.S.'s  economy and how our credit worthiness has taken a big blow.  We have been downgraded.  So I began to think about McDonald's and their reliability.  Normally, at McDonald's, you get what you order and for a decent price.  Because of the tea fiasco and my pancake mix up, questioning their lack of consistency became a reality for me.  Living in a tea-less society and experiencing Pancake-gate was detrimental to my overall health.  That's not something I take lightly. So I decided to take action. I will no longer be silent. This is my formal declaration or my McDonald's manifesto, if you will.  I am now officially downgrading McDonald's.  Being that they are usually the MacDaddy of the fast food industry, I am stripping them of their "Macness'.  They have now been downgraded to....wait for it...Donald's. Only Donald's and I am not sure if I will even grace them with a capital D.  I am still considering downgrading them even further todonald's.  I've taken the Mac from them until they can prove themselves Mac worthy. Now I know some of you are saying," But it's not Mac is Mc!" Don't get your undies in a bunch. It's okay really.   I've focused on the Mac to emphasize my point. Hey,  I've got to do something completely drastic.  You know...drastic times...drastic measures.  Okay now measure this:  I'm going to go to Donald's for breakfast tomorrow.  I can only hope that my order will be filled with the care and respect that they have normally exhibited. So for now, they are on Mac Daddy probation. This will take some doing for them to earn my trust again. It's time that they earn back their swag.  I think Taco Bell has it on hold.






Older post-revised above


For this past week I have been going to McDonald's for breakfast.  I usually order the scrambled eggs and apple slices to supplement my high protein and low carb diet.  It works pretty well.  Usually I wash it down with unsweetened iced tea.  That does it!  It's not that complicated.  It's not to much to ask.

This week, however, there seems to be a problem at McDonalds.  For the first two days of the week they didn't have iced tea!  Yea, I know.  It's some kinda torture.  I thought I didn't hear the obnoxious lady on the speaker tell me that they didn't have iced tea as she interrupted the flow of my order.  So I said, "I'd like a large unsweetened iced tea!"  I said it slowly because some people cannot tell the difference between unsweet and sweetened tea.  But that's another story for another day.  So any how, after she interrupted my litany of breakfast, she rocked my early morning routine.  In fact, she blew it out the water.  "No tea?" I asked.  "No tea," she said in a cruel way.  No explanation, just a stark reality thrusted on me so early.  "How can this be? That's utter blasphemy." I thought to myself.  "McDonald's and no tea is like hamburgers at a Mexican Restuarant.  It's just not right!"

So I ordered coffee with five creams instead. Not the consolation I was looking for.  It served its purpose.  I drove away in a fog-like dream.  "Is this really happening?" I thought as I pinched myself and then slapped myself in the face.  Reality is tough in the morning, especially without a cup of Orange Pekot Tea.

The next day, I went to McDonald's without a care in the world.  I was looking forward to some iced tea, scrambled eggs, and 2 bags of apple slices.  I was abruptly halted in mid-order again.  "No iced tea!" The annoying lady blurted out.  This time I was beyond offended. "What?  What's going on?  Why don't you have any tea?"  The voice changed to a more apologetic tone.  "The machine is broken," a kinder, gentler lady retorted. "Well somebody best be fixin' it!" I thought to myself.  "Oh, okay!" I said in a rather bland way.

Grasping for Straws

Grasping for Straws-Today's Written Poem of the Day

Okay since it's National Writing Poetry Month and I 've accepted the challenge, much has been on my mind. I've been searching high, I've been searching low,  sounds like Milli Vanilli to me!  BBBBBBBAAAAABBBAAA  BBBBAABBBYYY !!!!!!
Don't forget my number!
 Okay, don't forget my poem  is more like it.
So I've been grasping at straws all day! Enjoy!

Grasping For Straws

By Maureen Ucles

Today
In the Wee Hours of the Morning
I've been grasping
For some semblance of meaning
Some sort of reason why
I should hold on
onto
My iced tea

Breakfast haven, right?
McDonalds Inc
Okay now
Has my breakfast
Ready
Each 
Day

Today
Just like any other
Scrambled eggs
Sausage Patty
Drives me crazy
A little bit batty

Small coffee
Seven creams
No sugar
Not demanding
I am

Large Iced
Tea
No sugar
Just for
little old me
Not demanding
in the least


Had to wait
with a-
"Pull over to the side!"
that demeaning  raspy voice
To the side
Maybe 3 minutes
Stretch it out to more like five

Everything is fine
Or so I thought
Not so fast
Buster!
My straw!
My straw!

Where's
My straw?
My perfect
Mickey D's Delight
Striped with Red
Yellow 
and
Crowned with
White?

Are you kidding
me?
It's April 3rd now
Too late for the fools
But the jokes
 on me
yes me

I've got no straw
To call my own
Hold the stinking phone!
Did ya hear me?
No straw
To drink 
As I go!

I can't drink 
on my way
Lid comes off
So I can drink
But
It will spill 
as I break
On the Katy
Freeway

No straw and no lid
To  hold
All the tea 
That precious liquid cargo
gone flying out
Covering my seat
Splashing onto the dash
Into the glove
Compartment
All the way to the back
NOOOOO!

Life is so cruel
Incredibly unfair
How can I get through this day?
I really can't bare
it
Without my Mickey D's 
No straw,
no straw
 could you spare?

Sure 
I have napkins
napkins galore
On  my passenger's seat
Got Truvia packets in the 
all my compartments
Receipts on the floor
But no, no,
Straw to adore?

What's this world coming to?
When you cannot rely?
Ronald's dropped the ball
Made the unforgivable mistake
The straw is absent 
once more
Too much to take in
I'm loosing my mind
No marbles to be found here
I searched the whole car
I'm Out of luck 
I find
Myself tearing up
to no avail
Going to face it alone
I'm  locked interminably
In this draconian jail

So today is gone
The past  will linger
Tomorrow is not promised
However
I won't lift a finger.

Please give me a darn straw!
For crying out loud!
Before I  fall
Fall and fall
and fall

Remember, remember
 one 
and all-
Life is nothing
I said
Life is nothing!
I reiterate
Life is absolutely nothing
without some 
Iced Tea 
and a
STRAW!