Express Yourself

Be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
--Dr. Seuss

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Photocopying Diaries

Today was a good day. I had to pinch myself and make sure that I wasn't dreaming. It is not that my days aren't good. I am very fortunate to be doing what I love. I just don't adore the paperwork, the endless deadlines, the interruptions and the feeling of always being behind. I race to get to school so that I can have some quiet time before the rush. Before the craziness and deadlines smash me in the face. I get there super early so I can prepare myself and my classroom. I tidy up and make some copies....well sometimes. Making copies is rare. I do it very, very reluctantly. Photocopying is one my least favorite things to do. It is up there with root canals and Houston traffic. Because it causes so much angst, I arrive super early to the copy room, hoping to avoid any semblance of a human being. Sometimes, I stay super late, for the same reason. I avoid human contact because I need to concentrate and get my work done. When I start talking to someone, I invariably copy the things in an order that is not desirable. Don't want to waste my time.

I hate the pressure of photocopying. When I am by myself, I can think clearly and not feel the pressure of the looks from other homo sapiens. The looks. The tapping, Clock watching. Obnoxious sighing.  Too, too much to tolerate. Too much to bare. People who come in after me to photocopy, put a tremendous amount of pressure to move me on my merry way and let them copy 'til their heart's content. Not what I need in the morning or any time of the day.

Then you have the Only-ies. The Only-ies you probably know very well. They always seem have to photocopy on my watch. I think the ratio is one in three people. One in three people who photocopy are known as the Only. They are those pushy, yet friendly, line skippers who think that just because they only have one or two copies to make, I should stop what I am doing and let them take advantage of my kindness.  I so want to say, Hey, I woke up at 5 am to get here and make copies in peace. Take a number. Why is it that the skippies think that they somehow deserve to cut in line and I should oblige? I usually do not oblige. It is the principle of the situation. My philosophy is that you just take a number and wait. Wait your turn. Wait like everyone else.There is no express lane or self check out at the photocopier. It doesn't work that way. It really doesn't work that way at Kroger's either. I have never witnessed anyone cut in front of the coupon lady. She has bought the whole store. No one in their right mind would say to her mid check out, I only have 2 items. Can I possibly cut in this long line? Nope. I don't think anyone should ask that of anyone. Take a number, Bub! That is what I so want to say. I, however, don't say anything. I act as if I didn't hear the lame request. I say, I only have a few more myself in the most boring monotone way possible. I take extra care in pronouncing each syllable ever so slowly. After I avoid this situation, the pressure mounts.  My heart pounds excessively and my palms sweat profusely. I feel I have to hurry, hurry, hurry. The stares and sighs move me into a full blown panic attack. The pen taps. Then I make mistakes. The copier stalls and makes a groining noise. Ugh! Time to dash!  Are you happy now? I wish I could say. I don't say a word. I sigh and grab my ruffled papers that are dying to be placed in some semblance of order. I'm done. I walk and breathe slowly and try to put this incident out of my mind. Now get ready for 20 bouncing, smiling, eager to learn students. Build a bridge and get over it, Maureen. My self talk sometimes works. I guess it is better than being in the copy room.

Like I said, I  prefer to make my copies early morning or late in the evening. I avoid  human contact, the pressure and definitely the Only-ies. Don't want to allow it to ruin my day, week, month. Nah! There are more important battles to wage. Photocopying won't be one of them.

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