Express Yourself

Be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
--Dr. Seuss

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Poop Machines

I was cleaning and changing the kitty litter today. It is not a job that I love to do weekly. I abhor having to change the litter. NOT A FAN!  As I was changing it out, I kept thinking that this experience is writing worthy.

I could write about this, I thought to myself.

I always tell my students that writing happens as a result of our environment. There is so much out there to consider. My writing could also include my feelings about changing cat litter. Why can't I write about cat litter and these poop machines? What is stopping me? I have plenty of material. The words are flowing in my mind. I have plenty of material. Starting to stink to high heaven!

Tell the truth, Maureen. Tell the truth, my inner voice pleads.

But other people will think it is too gross or silly. They will say that I shouldn't be writing about changing out cat litter. You are not supposed to be gross,don't ya know? The inner conversation continues. the really good reads are the gross ones, I reply more confidently. Writers must tell the truth. The truth the way that they see things. Don't compromise for the nay-sayers.

Okay...that sounds better, I say in agreement.

Now I have decided to let it fly. I don't want those oppositional voices to keep me away from writing what could be a decent piece. I think my students will like it too. There you have it!

Here is my first draft.

Poop Machines

I love my cats. I do. I have three beautiful, sweet, and crazy felines. Love them to pieces, but I DON'T LOVE cleaning up after them. Cleaning up their hairball fiascos, stomach upsets placed nicely on the tile floor, or the kitty litter. Above all, I hate changing out the kitty litter! Hate, abhor, detest anything to do with kitty stinking litter!

Sammy at rest-practicing inertia
I have three kitty litter boxes. I need to start saying cat litter boxes because these once furry, playful balls of energy are adult snoozers now.  The sleep nonstop. Although they snooze, they find lots of time to churn out the droves. They are full grown POOP MACHINES!

These poop machines have many jobs in my house. They sleep probably 23 out of 24 hours a day. I know...the have it extremely hard. Their lives are full of endless ZZZZs. When they wake of from their thousandth cat nap, they roll over and purr. They stretch out their long bodies and then jump down from the window sill, the couch, the table, my bed, or their kitty skyscraper and search for their prey. They stalk the kitty bowl full of cat kibble. The bowl is very elusive to them. But after 5 seconds of stalking, they pounce upon the kibble and begin to devour the remains.  That hunt takes up lots of energy. They then decide to find a comfy spot to groom themselves for another five minutes. They spit in their paws and wipe their spittle over their ears, nose and head. They love the smell of their spittle and want to spread it all over the place.  After a little while, they might take a nap or charge up the poop machine.

They walk into the kitty condo (cat litter box) and then do their business. When they are done, if they are normal, they cover the remains with excess kitty litter and walk out of the condo refreshed. One of my cats does not do this. No, he or she (I am not sure which one it is) uses the facilities, then leaves their excrement or poop uncovered. I suppose he/she is proud of their production and wants the world to see what a great poop machine they have become. Upon further reading, this uncovering may be due to the fact that one of my cats wants to show the other cats who is the boss. They want everyone to know that they are, in fact, the dominant one. My cats are psychos!

Poop Machine Sammy at Work
Their daily routines consists of these four activities: sleep, groom, eat and poop (in no particular order.) I could add another activity to the list as well. It could then be sleep, eat, poop, groom, and meow at their owner to pet, feed, pet, feed, pet, feed, and entertain them. In the mornings, my three crazies like to sit on my lap and have me scratch them behind the ears and under the chin. They meow to demand more scratches at a time when I am getting ready for work. That doesn't work well when I have my work clothes on and ready. They shed so much.

By the end of the week, the kitty litter gets pretty smelly and in need of a changing. When I change it, I try to look away. I get grossed out by all the poop that has accumulated in last few days. (I try to clean it out daily, but I don't always get to it.) By this time, my cats are in the living room plotting their next visit to a cleaner litter box. When they see that I am finished, they run in acting all nicey-nice. They meow sweet and kind meows. They expect me to give them some wet cat food and to fill up the kibble bowl, which is usually 3/4 full. I don't know what it is about cats and kibble. If the bowl is not filled up to the brim, they react as if there is no food in the bowl. They meow with a harsh shrill, sounding as if they hadn't eaten in a week or more.They like to complain. The food bowl is practically filled. Go figure!

Dominant Poop Machine Sandy
I do love my cats. They are good companions of chill. They like to read with me.

They sometimes allow me to blog. I have to tear one of dominant felines away from me. She likes to stay positioned on my lap. I have to fight her to work on my lap top and read by pushing her off of me numerous times. She keeps coming back with her loud, loud lawn-mover like purrs. It is difficult, but after a while, she gives up and lays next to me.

Poop Machine Suzy the Timid
It is great having cats as pets. They are clean and independent. Not bad at all...except for being feline poop machines. That, and cleaning up hairball problems, are the only downfalls of having cats.

Am I a part of the problem? When I feed them their kibble or wet food, I am perpetuating the poop production problem. There is no way around it. I just wish they could be more like dogs and go outside and do their business. My cats are indoor cats though. I think it is better for them to stay inside and be safe. It is good for them, but more work for me. I do it reluctantly and with much trepidation, but I do it. After all, I do love my sweet poop machines!

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