Purgation

I went back to a poem that I had written a few months back.  I read it again and the revision process just took over my body.  I found myself easily returning to that dark, dark place.  This place is a prison of sorts.  So I went there and dwelt there and tried to recreate what I saw and felt along the way.  Not too bad at all!
Please let me know what you think...nothing is ever finished.

Purgation

By Maureen Ucles

I have drudged through
wicked wastelands
Transversed the
most rigid monstruous mountain peeks
Suffered
numerous gut-wrenching
deaths

For this?

 This?

Naw!  Can't be!
Must be dreaming

I have cried many tears

Shaken in and out of my fears
Lost and abandoned

For what?

Naw!  Can't cha see?

I have bent over backwards

given my all
and then some...
My feats,
My actions

No satisfaction

'cause

 There you are!
Asking for more?
Really?

Stop your game

Come on in...

Have a seat!
We need to talk!

Let me tell you something------

I am--

Tsunamied 

 by your greed

greed so

 unappealing, 

devoid of feeling

I am 

 disgusted 

overtaken

forsaken

by your domineering

hold

so

power  hungry

dominating

inundating 

while

inflating your

fragile, fragile

 ego

YOU ARE

 So hard to stomach

like rancid, withering, disgusting 

fly-filled carcasses 

on a  third world dusty clay-filled roads

 I am

riding that
 Central American
 bus 

cramped with a zillion bodies

chickens, and who knows what

 straight to nowhere

with endless stops 

Baja!  Baja! Baja! (Stop here!)

 a multitude
on the highway

suffocating in the unforgiving, tortuous Sun

middle of the day

Uggh!

Basta ya!

Mind blowing

Muscles strained
Teeth clenched

in some messed up

stinkin' 

freakin'

pain

not worthy in your eyes

no more

no how

no where

in your estimation

filled with consternation

total and complete deception
desolation awaits...

despondent me

How did it happen?

Come to fruition?
Quien sabe?
You alone
with your blind ambition
Yet

Can't seem to deter

 this sit-sit-

sit-ua-tion

Stopped... blind sided
I am

clutching to the wide, wide open

for nothin'

nothin' more

than your

 sad and sorry

face

full of idiotic disgrace

laughing, mocking,

 chuckling 

the whole way

ringing intolerably

in my ears

interminable, interminable,
interminable

Why? Why?

Did you have to come to play?

Ruin my day, 

my year,

my life?

 Your deception
sounding the bell

deafening darkness
pure hell

has

thrown me into
the abyss

into a pit of despair

where you alone

reside

piling it on
piling high
bludgeoning

 forcefully

into my gut
imploding
cayendo

onto my knees

spewing blood 

 inside me

hemorrhaging

the pain,
the suffering

just too, too much

like a constant refrain
too stinking much

to endure!

Insane!

But 

me to blame?
Hardly
I am done!

Spent!

Last breath 

Think you
have about

taken my spirit?

Nope

Never

No surrender!
Let it unfold
Cascade
into soul
I remain
I am