Express Yourself

Be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
--Dr. Seuss

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Only A Girl

Only A Girl
By Maureen Ucles


One more inning to go
Only one
Only one more chance
Slowly fading, fading, fading
Away
Again
Out of my grasp
Man!
Everyone’s watchin’
Waitin’, waitin’, waitin’
Game after stinking game
Inner after stupid inning
Hung out to dry
On the painful pines

Oh! Look! Look!
There’s the girl!
In the visitor’s dugout
See her!
Feel like a circus
Can you say Freak Show?

There goes Highly Favored Son
Helmet on
I sit still
Waiting my turn
Patiently…quietly
Now Slim to None is on deck
What about me?
Me?
What the heck?
No sign
No motion
No sliver of hope
Just let me sizzle
Here
On the pine
It’s not right
Not fair
In the least

Everyone’s gone
But me
The only girl
That infectious disease
Of can’t
Won’t
Never could
Or will
Just call me
pathetic, pathetic, pathetic

Can’t believe
Just three week before
Good news
Came knocking on my door
You are an All-star
You’ve made the team
Selected from five teams
The best of the rest
Or so I thought

Now I am numb
And filled with rage
Cruel, cruel play on my emotions
Should give up
‘Cause why even try?
Seriously now
Coach Crucio
Stands in the divide
Between me and my dreams
Snatched right out of my mind
Why? Why? Why?
 Am I on this stupid team?
If you and your ridiculous self
Are gonna go all mean
Draconian Dastardly
Just leave me be
All alone
Endlessly waiting, hoping, and praying
With just one shot
Get in
See the light of day
Me, Me, Me
Allstar?
What?
C’mon
It’s a joke
Sorry cubed
All out of nothing
Me?
Spent
Hope gone terribly awry!
Why? Idiot! Why?

Practice makes perfect
Practice I do
Hour before practice
Hour at home
Early to bed
Early to rise
I got this in spades
Making good contact
Straight over your fence
Balling, straight out balling
On a diamond that fits
On my blistered, blood stained hands
Yeah, right!
Do not pass go!
Go directly to jail!
Just press a button
Get me out of this hell!
Wasted, wasted, wasted!
For whom and for what?


Never even looked
Never even stared
Never even tried to see
You just plain don’t care
Yo dude!
I can play!
You stupid blind?
Drives snatched right of mid air
Throwing some heat to first-got ‘em!
Line drive to left
Up the middle
Soaring high over
A chain linked fence
So sweet, sweet, sweet
Jezeel, Jezeel, Pete!
Am I really invisible?
Slighted
Non-existent
To say the least
In the hot, hot, hot July heat
From morn to noon
Desire protruding through
My pours
Sweat on my brow
Tell me!
For what?
To no avail

C’mon
Say my name!
Call me up!
Just once!
Only once!
Just a chance out of thousands!
I can and will
Better than your boys, boys, boys
Hit
Field
Dive
Run
Slide
Bring the heat!
Slavin’ in the sun!

But then
There’s no place
For me
Scorned
I am
Just a girl, stupid, stupid, mindless girl!
Wish I’d been
Forewarned
Dead end
No way out!

Strike Three!
Your boys out!
 Team has been rattled!
Game over! Game over!
I am in tatters!
Dragging my feet,
Cracks and crevices of the side walk
Along with my tears
Litter my way home
Along with the jeers
In my mind
unrelenting


Slowly but ever so slowly
Glove in hand
Dignity in tow
Coach
I just want you to know
One day soon
Soon, soon enough
You’ll see
This girl
This speck of nothingness
Will rise
                                                                          Above you
                                                                  ‘cause through it all
                                                                               I will
Prove, prove, you wrong
Not diminished
No turning back
Towering, towering
Through the rubble
Bat in hand
Heels dug in
I will succeed
I will win
Now
Play, play ball!

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